Rob Hall: Father Fiction

While I’m on vacation I’m having a few friends write some guest posts here on the blog. This is a guest post by Rob Hall, my good friend who I pastored with at CPC the past few years. Rob is campus pastor of CPC Millbrae and an all around fantastic guy.

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Someone once said, “You don’t pick a book, it picks you.” There have been multiple times this has been true for me. I came across a new book by Don Miller, Father Fiction: Chapters for a Fatherless Generation, that grabbed my attention immediately. After downloading it onto my Kindle, I was immediately swept into Miller’s memoirs of growing up without a father (even though I’ve never been a big fan of Don Miller’s works). This is not a theological treaty or pop-physchology, this is simply an honest reflection from a man who confesses, “I’m thirty-eight years old, and I still need a father.”

Like Miller, my father was absent from my childhood. This, of course, left huge holes in my life and in my heart. I tried to fill those holes with many things that ultimately left me more empty. When I clearly heard the gospel at age 17, what grabbed my heart the most was the new thought of a Heavenly Father who loves and cares for me. While I didn’t understand it all, I threw myself down at the Father’s feet and asked Him to fill the emptiness in my soul…and He did.

For those of you, like me, whose father was absent from your life (he may have been “around,” but not really around), I want to offer five things that helped me deal with this loss:

1. Make sure you have plenty of older godly men in your life who are investing in you. If you don’t have someone, go ask someone you admire to meet you for coffee once a week. As I look back on my life, I am grateful for the the men–coaches, uncles, teachers, friends, youth workers, elders and pastors, who helped fill the father void.
2. Read and listen to Christian men for wisdom and support. Some books that have helped me are: Finishing Strong by Steve Farrar, Wild at Heart by John Eldredge, The Christian Husband by Bob Lepine, and Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God by CJ Mahaney.
3. Get good Christian counseling, it’s worth every cent.
4. If you have children, spend a TON of time with them, be super intentional, and make sure they see Christ in you.
5. Pray. Pray. Pray. Pray to God the Father for grace, mercy and strength as He does a great work in you and makes you the man He’s called you to be.

I’d love to hear what you’ve done and what has been helpful to you. Please share your comments.