4 Things Every Man Needs
Men aren’t that complicated. I believe there are 4 things every man needs. I believe God created men this way and that these 4 needs of a man are grounded in the first two chapters of the Bible.
1. A Mission
A man needs a mission. Men need a clear calling, a lifework—a work they are called and gifted to do that makes an impact, that leaves a dent in this world. A man needs to know that his life counts, that he’s pursuing a mission that means something. A man on a mission is a happy man.
Immediately after God created Adam, he gave him a mission. God put Adam in the garden of Eden “to work it and keep it,” to cultivate the resources of the garden and to guard the garden. God gave the first man on the planet a mission for his life.
2. A Father
A man needs a Father. A man needs a father on earth, but many men won’t get that. What a man supremely needs is a Father in Heaven. In order for a man to be a man, he must first know what it means to be a son. Manhood requires sonhood.
This is the central, driving need of the 4 needs. If this need isn’t front and center in a man’s life, his life will travel in dangerous directions. A man must know that the ultimate reason why he has been put on this earth is to glorify the one true God. A man must discover that the way to glorify this God is to know this God, to know him as a Father. A man must discover what God has done for sinners and orphans through the work of his perfect Son, Jesus. A man must respond to this good news and enjoy this new relationship with his new Father. For a man that is deeply wounded, he must understand that his father wound cannot be cured by an earthly man, it can only be healed by a Heavenly man.
The first man, Adam, was born into this world without an earthly father. His first relationship was with God. Adam enjoyed intimate fellowship with God. He lived as a son before God, his Heavenly Father. At the center of the first man’s life stood a Father.
3. A Bride
A man needs a bride. God made man to marry, to give his life to a woman. Man is built to love and protect one woman, to enjoy the warm companionship of his bride. Not every man will marry, but most men will. God calls some men to singleness (through inner conviction or through circumstance), but most men will grow to know something significant is missing if they haven’t committed their life to a woman they love. Marriage is God’s school for molding men.
In the garden of Eden Adam enjoyed a dynamic relationship with God unaffected by sin. Yet God still said, “It is not good that the man should be alone.” The first thing that God declared “not good” was a single sex society, a marriage-less society. God gave Adam his Eve, a bride, a companion, to love and protect.
4. Friends
A man needs friends. A man needs rich male friendships. Most grown men don’t have any real friendships. This is a tragedy. God is a deeply relational God who created men to be deeply relational. Most men know a few guys who they talk shop or sports with from time to time, but not friends who they deeply know and enjoy. You can quickly tell the difference between a man who has no friends and a man who has a handful of great friends, one man seems much more alive.
God created man in his image. Our God is a three-personed God. God has always enjoyed rich friendship within the Trinity and he created man to model him, to enjoy rich friendship on earth. “It is not good that the man should be alone” is also a sentence about friendship.
Question: Men and women, what do you think about this 4-part list?
Photo: Cobblestone Street on Nantucket Island, 2008.
Right on, Justin. Well stated. Most of my male friends with difficult problems had had major father issues…either not present, or present and abusive, or physically present but emotionally absent.
If a man needs a Father and a man needs a wife, I think then also, a man needs to be a father. God changed me in a huge way when he gave me my first child and then even further when I followed His example an adopted. Being a husband and a father have both taught me much about God.
4 Things Every Man Needs http://is.gd/gQ7dW via @JustinBuzzard
RT @mrmedina: 4 Things Every Man Needs http://is.gd/gQ7dW via @JustinBuzzard
Read this nig nogs http://is.gd/gQ7dW 4 things every man needs
RT @JustinBuzzard: 4 Things Every Man Needs http://is.gd/gQ7dW
RT @mrmedina: 4 Things Every Man Needs http://is.gd/gQ7dW via @JustinBuzzard
RT @mrmedina: 4 Things Every Man Needs http://is.gd/gQ7dW via @JustinBuzzard
“@mrmedina: 4 Things Every Man Needs http://is.gd/gQ7dW via @JustinBuzzard” great read…#2 is above all, but all 4 are critical…
RT @JustinBuzzard: 4 Things Every Man Needs – http://tinyurl.com/2dp77dz
What every man needs: http://bit.ly/9S6txq
RT @JustinBuzzard: 4 Things Every Man Needs – http://tinyurl.com/2dp77dz
Good stuff from @JustinBuzzard on 4 Things Every Man Needs: http://bit.ly/bII8vu
That’s so true. May I ask if you are a pastor or a church planter? Is it the same? Thanks for your input.-
RT @mrmedina: 4 Things Every Man Needs http://is.gd/gQ7dW via @JustinBuzzard
Just a quick comment and I am surprised no one has stated this. I have to respectfully disagree. A man does not need a wife. God is, in part, initiating creation and does so through a man and woman. The NT sorta dispels the idea that a man needs a wife in 1 Cor. 7:7. I guess some thing Paul may have been married at one point, but it seems to be clear that Paul embraces the idea that singleness is a good gift from God and marriage is a good gift from God.
My point is this, there are some who are going to read your blog post who are single and are going to struggle with this idea because you have influence in their lives (a very good thing by the way) and I think it is a little dangerous to say that there are four needs every man has and one of them is marriage. I’d probably tone that back a little to change it up to marriage may or may not be a desire instead of a need.
Okay, I’m done. Besides, the box to read my comment is so small I can’t go back very easily with my crazy erratic cursor today.
Blessings.
Brian
Great post and sure rings true from what I see in my counseling office on all 4 points as I listen to the stories men have lived. The hurts men express seem to fall in the 4 areas above, when those needs are lacking. Father wound being huge! I love this quote from Paula Rinehart in her book (for women) , “What’s He Really Thinking”. “I am convinced that in any personal relationship with a man, be it husband or brother or son or father, you will never feel close to him until you can feel the impact of the story he’s lived. And everyone has a story. Everyone.”
Hello!
“4 things every man needs. I believe God created men this way and that these 4 needs of a man are grounded in the first two chapters of the Bible.”
“I notice that you say “men,” and, “a man:”
Actually, Genesis 1:26 says, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion…” And then it says, “So God created man in his own image…male and female…”
1. Immediately after God created Adam, or mankind, male and female, God gave them a mission.
2. “A man must discover that the way to glorify this God is to know this God, to know him as a Father.”
So, too, a woman, viz. Martha/Mary. Martha…bustled in the kitchen…while Mary…sat at the feet of Christ. Jesus commended Mary, “…Mary has chosen the one thing necessary…”
3. “It is not good that the man should be alone.” The first thing that God declared “not good” was a single sex society, a marriage-less society.
Actually, the thing that God declared “not good” was that man was “alone.” It is interesting to consider in light of the fact that God has just expressed that both male and female, together, are made to reveal “the image of God.” It is interesting to ponder…if, in God saying that Adam was “alone,” this conceptually included that womankind was yet to be brought on the scene of the world, perhaps even to “community” and “relationship” if you will.
This would be consistent with Paul’s heart in the NT, “I say this…to secure your “undivided devotion” to the Lord.”
In Paul’s view, in the NT, he who remained single, as a gift from God, whether male or female, “firmly established in his heart,” “does even better,” as he would only be concerned re: the “things of the Lord.” 1 Cor. 7:33-38
4. See comment on three, community and relationship.
I must agree that it is probably a bit strong to say, “A man needs.” On mission…What then, of Job? Joseph? etc.,. What may not appear to be a “mission” may be the crucible God uses for His purposes. On marriage…again, what of Job’s wife…when she failed to “come through” for him, or of so many other examples? And of community…what of the many scriptures that speak of times of incredible alone-ness? Are our “needs” then left unfilfilled? But God has promised to meet all of our needs in Christ Jesus! Any of these other things…that is, other than God…that we come to see as “needs”…we have essentially re-named, “demands.” Make any of these “desires,” things that you cling to first and foremost as your source of life, and you will not hold them with an open hand, clinging to them instead of to the Father in relationship, perhaps thwarting your relating to them in the capacity that God intends.
grace and peace!
4 Things Every Man Needs http://tinyurl.com/3ecce68
