Create Rites of Passage for Your Sons
My life is ordered according to my most important relationships:
-My relationship with Jesus
-My marriage
-My relationship with my three sons
-My relationship with my church/my friends/my city
A dad’s job is to intentionally train his kids for a life of godliness and impact in our fallen world. Psalm 127 says:
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!
Rare is the dad who carefully trains and prepares his kids, handling them like an arrow intentionally and deliberately launched into the world.
I want to be that kind of dad.
Working from left to right in the picture above, my sons are now 5 (Cru), 3 (Hudson), and 1 (Gus). One of the ways I’m attempting to train and launch my sons is through creating rites of passage for them–distinctive markers in time that initiate them towards manhood. So far I’ve created just two of these rites of passage (I’m creating them on the go).
The first rite of passage I’ve created for my sons is a backpacking trip. Once a Buzzard boy turns 3 years-old I take him on a backpacking trip with me. Two years ago I took Cru on his backpacking trip. Cru carried his own pack (full of diapers, snacks, and a stuffed animal), Cru hiked in 2 miles by himself, and we had a blast together. Two years later, we’re still talking about the trip. Below are two pictures from the trip.
Now, it’s Hudson’s turn. This week I take 3 year-old Hudson on his backpacking trip. I’m taking him to the same spot where I took his older brother two years ago. I’m preaching on rest/Sabbath this Sunday, so I’m also using this trip as part of my sermon prep–I’m going to rest, relax, and play with my son and attempt to live and model what I’m seeking to preach this Sunday.
I know these trips are deeply forming my sons. So is the other rite of passage I’ve formed for when a Buzzard boy turns 5 (I’ll save that for another post). I hope to continue forming creative rites of passage that will shape and prepare my sons towards manhood. Our world desperately needs strong men of God. I want my church to help produce such men, but I first want to produce such men out of the 5, 3, and 1 year-old boys living under my roof. I love them so much.
Fathers and mothers, let’s train our sons and daughters. We must be intentional in doing so. Fathers, let’s take the lead in this.
This is great and well worth it. We have a lot of rites of passage. Backpacking is 13 years old and three days in the White Mountains. Pocket knife, riding bike up town, Cell phone, Chain saw, driving go cart, Driving Tractor, work in dad’s office, rebuilding old truck for when the license is obtained. Run the family home finances. Still coming up with them as often as possible.
My daughters – caring for calves, cooking, sewing, date with dad, promise ring, work with dad, work with dad at office, run the family finances.
We have a lot of as we call them Milestones I think the Bible calls them ebenezer’s. We love to look back on them and discuss them in comparison with the ones that went on before them.
God Bless Now!
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I love this man! This is such a great idea. I really appreciate getting the opportunity to see you raise your sons, particularly when I don’t feel like I experienced this kind of intentional, God-centered focus as I was growing up. Lots of great ideas and thoughts.
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First, I love that you order your life according to relationships – very Trinitarian, very biblical.
Second, I love your thoughts about rites of passage – backpacking is a great one. I plan on doing this and other such things with my daughter and my son. I’ve already taken my daughter on a number of hikes. I’ll get my son started this summer. Not only do they serve as rites of passage, but can help to teach kids very valuable lessons which are important for becoming mature and resilient people. I look forward to hearing about more rites of passage.
That a boy Ju Bu!!! Great work with your boys. Will be some of their greatest memories with you and your efforts will greatly reinforce with them how important their own manhood journey is. You’ll be amazed at how much they’ll remember about these experiences and how you’ll see fruit from them in years to come when you least expect it. Proud of you!!! Have a blast!!
This is such a great idea. I have 3 kids under the age of 8, its not to late to start something like this.