Pregnancy, Miscarriage, Tears, & Trust
A couple of weeks ago we learned my wife was pregnant. When, late on a Thursday night, Taylor surprised me with a positive pregnancy test, our smiles grew large and the sights and sounds of rejoicing filled our home.
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3
Child number two was on the way! Psalm 127 was on our lips as we sat on the edge of our couch and prayed for this new little life. Would we have a boy or a girl? We wondered over who the Lord was forming together.
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.Psalm 139:13
We had just, I mean just, begun praying and trying for a second child. How quickly the Lord had opened my wife's womb!
Then God remembered Rachel, and God listened to her and opened her womb. Genesis 30:22
We marveled over God's kindness to us. We imagined what our household was soon to look like: two children under the age of 2, filling our small condo with noise and life and laughter.Then, early this week, my wife suffered a miscarriage. Taylor called me at work to tell me the news. Immediately, my heart sank. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. I drove home to be with my wife. We talked, prayed, and touched. Tears came in the evening.It was at the end of my trail run that evening, as I was alone in the hills, processing my wife's miscarriage before my God, that the tears came. The sudden, sharp plunge from news of new life to news of a life miscarried brought on a sudden, sharp flow of tears.
...the LORD had closed her womb. 1 Samuel 1:5
I didn't sleep well that night.The next morning Taylor and I woke to the start of a new year. As New Year's Day unfolded--a long day of football, friends, and food, we found refreshment. Somewhere between the food and the football and the silent prayers we were moved to praise the Lord and place fresh faith in his sovereign rule over the womb, particularly praising his trustworthy care over my wife's womb.
And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” Job 1:21As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything. Ecclesiastes 11:5
Friends, thank you for the love you've shown my family, particularly my wife, as we've been traveling this recent path of pregnancy, miscarriage, tears, and trust.