A Conversation at the Park

A guest post from Taylor Buzzard:I present you with another one of those once-in-a-blue-moon, sporadic posts from me, Justin’s wife!Today I was at one of the parks in our city. I struck up a conversation with another mother while our young sons played on the slide. She shared with me that she is a school teacher, and that being separated from her son caused her to cry every morning for the first six months of the school year. Now it is summertime, and she is overjoyed to spend every day with her 12 month-old.She looked at me and said with a bit of longing in her voice, “Do you get to stay home?” I replied, “Yes, I get to stay home with my boys, I’m very grateful. But, well, you know, actually, it’s probably more accurate to say, I choose to stay home. My family lives in a small 2 bedroom condo without a yard. So the trade-off is obvious. But I wouldn’t change my situation for anything.”I seem to get into this type of conversation semi-regularly. Whether it is someone saying, “We both have to work, there isn’t an option,” or, “I’m so jealous that you get to stay home,” I do my best to gently and humbly correct them. Yes, I am privileged to stay home to raise my children. And, yes, you probably have an option.In most instances, two full-time incomes are not mandatory. What it primarily comes down to is lifestyle. In America, we are bred to live beyond our means. We are almost brainwashed to believe that children must be raised in a large home, with an expansive yard, with 2 luxury vehicles, with the gamut of extracurricular activities available to them, with a private university tuition covered; and if we don’t provide the aforementioned amenities, we are depriving our children.But, wait, is it really deprivation not to provide these things to my children? If I re-entered the workforce full-time, we would be better positioned to provide the American-dream upbringing for our children. But, what would the cost be? Everything has a cost, as one of my pastors, Mark Mitchell, recently taught the twentysomethings of our church. The cost to my young children would be spending the majority of their time without either parent in their most formative, impressionable years. I physically carried these children in my womb, and I want to carry them, literally and figuratively, through their childhood years as well.I am aware that this article taps into a controversial topic, and I understand and respect the fact that in some instances there truly is not an option to be home with your children. But, we must remember that in most cases, it truly is a choice that we are making. And might we make that choice with full understanding of the cost at hand.