30, Male, and Restless
I am 31 years old. Most of my closest friends are men right around age 30. I've spent the last 4 years pastoring many men approaching and turning the 30 corner. And I believe my theory even more now: Something happens to a man when he turns 30.In his book, The Lost City of Z, David Grann speaks of a man from Brazil:
He was married with two children. But, when he was thirty, he had become restless and began to disappear for days into the Amazon, trekking through the jungle.
That about describes it, describes what I've observed: a man turns 30, realizes he's restless, and looks to chart a new course of some sort.This isn't an exhaustive commentary on 30 year-old restless males. This is just one brief blog post. And here's what I have to say in this post.Are you 30, male, and restless? Are you a follower of Jesus? If you said yes to all of the above, you may not know what to do with your restlessness. You're probably hearing a lot of counsel to subdue your restlessness, to keep faithfully doing what you've always been doing, to gut it out. You've come to believe that life in your 30s is supposed to feel this way--that faithfulness feels like this--full of sameness, loss of edge, everything tame. Tameness and sameness.But maybe, maybe, your restlessness is there for a reason. Maybe you're restless because you do need to chart a new course. Maybe your restless because God is calling you out of the sameness into something new. Maybe you're confusing sameness and tameness for faithfulness. Maybe, for you, faithfulness to God, to your wife and your kids (if you have them), to your work/calling and to the church, means letting your restless guide you into new territory.Why do you think you're so restless? That's the question you've got to wrestle to the ground. It might take you a while to get your answer. And you might not get your answer until you start "trekking through the jungle" a little bit, until you start making movement into new territory.We know how the man from Brazil's sentence reads. How will yours read? How will you fill in the blank?
But, when he was thirty, he had become restless and began to _____________________________.
There are a lot of options out there. Some are drastic changes, some are simple. Where is your particular restlessness leading? Maybe you need to:-Take a long vacation.-Get some friends.-Start a new business.-Pick up your baseball mitt again and remember your old love.-Repent of some deeply rooted sin patterns.-Ask for help.-Plant a church.-Quit eating so much and moving your body so little-Give away a bunch of money.-Commit to and serve your church community at a deeper level.-Learn how to pray.-Reconcile that broken relationship.-Move to a new city.-Stay in your city, quit moving every two years, and put down roots for the next 40 years.-Fall in love with your wife all over again.-Get over your fear and put a ring on that girl's finger.-Quit living a life that's fear-driven rather than faith-driven.-Write a book about being 30, male, and restless.-Mentor a young man, help prepare him for what he'll face when he's 30.-Take reforming action to be the great dad you always wanted to be.-Quit dreaming your dreams and start attempting to live them.
But, when he was thirty, he had become restless and began to _____________________________.