15 Life-Giving Habits to Cultivate As a Church Planter/Pastor

About a year ago I gave a talk in Nashville for Church Planting Leadership Fellowship. The theme of the event was Alpha Cities and my talk, rooted in my book Why Cities Matter, was about 15 life-giving habits/priorities for church planters to cultivate in city environments (this content should also be helpful to those not in city environments, and to pastors who are not church planters). I received a great response from this talk and people have asked me for the notes. I finally got around to turning a condensed version of my notes into a brief blog post.1. Know and love your cityI would live in Silicon valley even if I wasn't a church planter. I love living here. Having this kind of love for your city helps you contextualize the gospel from a place of deep understanding and genuine love for your city, and it ensures that you're not simply using your city for ministry--you and your family genuinely enjoy living there. Do you know and love your city? The best way to start is to approach you city like you’d approach knowing and loving a person.➔ Action Question: What is your city’s history, values, dreams, fears, and ethos? (see chapter 4 of Why Cities Matter for a more on the 5 key questions to ask of your city)2. Prioritize friendshipMost church planters are lonely, and it’s most often their fault! Don't settle for superficial relationships or building a church where everyone has deep friendships and you sit alone at the top. If Jesus needed close friends, then so do you. It’s how God made us. So make pursuing and enjoying real friendships a normal part of your week. Perhaps you should put it in your job description. I think planters/pastors should be men who have incredible friendships, there's just no way to navigate this calling well without great friends.➔ Action Question: Who are your friends?3. Disciple menJesus invested his life in a handful of men and changed the world. As the lead guy, investing your life in a handful of guys will set the culture of your church. Don’t spread yourself too thin, pick a few guys who will invest in others and invest yourself them (2 Tim 2:2).➔ Action Question: Who are your guys?4. RestChurch planting is a creative profession. If you do not rest and refill yourself along the way, you will burn out. Find your own rhythms to rest daily (unplug/play for some portion of each day), rest weekly (sabbath), rest monthly (I take a monthly headspace day where I get away to fill up), and rest annually (my family gets out of town for the entire month of July). For more: See my interview on Sabbath/rest here.➔ Action Question: How are you resting?5. Unleash your rookiesSome of your best ministry will happen through new believers. Don’t wait for people to ripen on the vine, we have an enormous mission and the best news in our city! God is able to use anybody, and seems to love doing a special work through new believers, so give them vision  for this and set them loose (even before they feel ready). Sameer is just one of many examples of how the Lord has blessed this at Garden City.➔ Action Question: Who do you need to set loose?6. Play bigToo many church planters settle for a ministry that can be explained by their own resources and abilities. Jesus loves your church/city more than you do (Matt 16:18). Push into the impossible and trust God to show up. This is the kind of ministry worth giving your life for.➔ Action Question: Does your current ministry require a supernatural explanation?7. Resist the devilSatan hates you, and he is tricky. He will seek to breed disunity in your church, discouragement in you, speak lies, and seek to get at you through your family, etc. You have to be a fighter (1 Peter 5:8-9). Church planting will always feel like a fight. Embrace this reality, and fight.➔ Action Question: Where do you need to resist the work of the devil?8. Go to where men workNine years ago I started to visit men in their workplace. I realized this was the first time anyone had done this for many of them. This is a great way to care for the men in your church, spur them on mission, and get to further know your city (#1) as you see and observe these work environments.➔ Action Question: Whose workplace can you visit this week?  For more, read my post: Go To Where Your Men Work.9. Do what you love“One of the quickest way to burn out is to stop doing what you enjoy.” - Mark Sanborn. Most church planters stop doing what they enjoy. What do you love to do? When is the last time you did that? I’m hyper-responsible, so I have to remind myself at times to “be irresponsible” — go surfing, running, exploring--to push my work aside do something that has nothing to do with my work.➔ Action Question: Ask “What do I want to do?” for the rest of your life.10. Date your wifeI wrote an entire book about this, because If your marriage is strong and healthy, you can face almost anything. Pastors are in the unique position of having the one job where marriage can disqualify you. Men, we can do what we do because of our wives. Don’t forget this.➔ Action Question: Are you taking good care of your wife?11. Set the cultureThe values written on your walls won’t matter if your culture does not reinforce them. Culture trumps everything. As the planter, you set the culture of your church. Set it intentionally, set it early, and realize that you are always setting and protecting it.➔ Action Question: How can you nurture the culture of your church this quarter?12. Take care of yourself financiallyThis one is easy to ignore, but nobody will think of this but you. Cities are expensive and you will need to have a plan for how you will take care of your family so you are not constantly worrying about providing for them.➔ Action Question: Are things set up such that you and your family are adequately provided for financially?13. Get your sermon done earlierI have found it works much better for me to aim to get my sermon done by Wednesday afternoon, giving me the rest of the week to be with people, handle other responsibilities, and not have my sermon hanging over my head all week. Discover what works best for you, your family, and your church and do it.➔ Action Question: What's a good time of the week to finish your sermon by, a new deadline to aim for that would free you up?14. Let God wreck youShortly before planting Garden City Church, I had my idolatry exposed and crushed as a result of some very difficult circumstances in my life. The Lord used that to build me into the man who is leading my church today. Church planting can be the best education/sanctifier of your life. Embrace what God is doing and you will be a better leader as a result.➔ Action Question: What is God teaching you in your pain and weakness?15. Stay excited about JesusThis is the single most important thing you can do for yourself and the church. Your leadership flows from your relationship with Jesus, so your most important meeting of the day is connecting with him. Staying encouraged and excited about Jesus = healthy leadership.➔ Action Question: Have you lost your wonder and fascination with Jesus? How can you get it back?